unexplained dilemma

Last month, most of my batch mates graduated with a scroll and I saw a relieve sign on their faces. The joy and the celebration upon their graduation was great. I wondered how it would be when it comes to my turn. We will see later.

Then came across along with Deepavali celebration with my lovely family last month which was on 26th of October. Spent a whole week with them and I enjoyed my mum's cooking especially spicy food named curry! I'm a curry lover and I would enjoy spicy dish. 

The koolam I designed by myself for this year Deepavali

Then, I realized all my works are halt and need to get all done in a week which includes my very first test for this semester; Mathematics 1. I did my best but after the test I was disappointed with my careless mistake. It's okay. Just move on and do better in upcoming tests.

Somehow, I couldn't focus in my life. I couldn't explain to myself on what I really want. Though, I may have getting better at some point but still there is something that really bothers me.

I don't know what I want. But certainly, I know what is my purpose. I came here to get a degree certificate. Hence, I should stay focus on studies for now.

The best song that would suit me, It Ends Tonight by All American Rejects. I used to listen this song back to year 2007 and the lyrics somehow explain well on what I really into.

Your subtleties, they strangle me
I can't explain myself at all

And all the wants and all the needs
All I don't want to need at all

The walls start breathing, my mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone

A weight is lifted on this evening
I give the final blow

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight

A falling star, at least I fall alone
I can't explain what you can explain